"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to make a woman out of you."

How to Get to Jess' Place: a waste of time set to rhyme

how to get to Jess' place...

let me muse upon the way:

teleport through time and space?

by a giant trebuchet?

maybe surf a massive crowd

from my house to her front door

soar upon a fluffy cloud?

chariot of manticores?

sail down in a giant peach

on sedia gestatoria

maybe wash up on the beach

and take the subway from Astoria

I could go sleeping around

and map a way from girls I laid

or dig a tunnel underground

presidential motorcade?

cartwheel till my arms have died

log roll à la lumberjack

take a hobo rickshaw ride

sally forth on griffonback

find myself an awesome bro

and wheelbarrow race the trip?

or do obscene amounts of blow

and then ghost ride the whip

bounce a stretch of trampoline

flying carpet, witches' broom

enter woods of heavy green

and clear a path with sonic booms

Or maybe I'll just take the Metro North.  The fare is reasonable and if I take the express I can get there in thirty minutes.