aspirin, o aspirin
for all my savage, whiskyed sins
you've soothed remorse and eased chagrin
o nonjudgmental aspirin
(cue the mawkish violin)
many a sordid night has been
where I've turned into Errol Flynn
and spent the evening blind on gin
knocked down like a bowling pin
and waking up with head aspin
but!
as long as I have aspirin
that Santa Claus, that Jesus twin
I know that I shall rise again
aspirin, o aspirin
you ibuprofenated djinn
it's like you make my day begin
my brilliant, lovely aspirin
for all your value held within
you could be in the Metropolitan
but modest valor, Gunga Din
is how I think of aspirin
...fin
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